I've been a jolly helpful chap
And plain pathetically crap
Intermittent superstitious
Ambiguous lazily ficticious

I've been a silent mural fleur
Yet weekend blow-by-blow chauffeur
All take and very little give
A sniper spy and fugitive

I've been a nemesis to some
To others just a lazy bum
A massive cock to those who knew
But they were fortunately few

I've been around and hung around
Totally lost thankfully found
Familiar with unselected
Grateful least when most expected

I've been a blushing gooseberry
Superripe internally
Pecked by disinterested birds
Words they're just scampering words

I've been the meanest visitor
Despised them all ignored just her
Overdone accelerant
Undermined the brilliant

I've been a crackling thundercloud
Dark depressing disallowed
Rumbling horizontally
Striking unexpectedly

I've been a boy with poison darts
To prise happy couples apart
Shot aimlessly into the air
Apparently without a care

I've been a plausible excuse
Overused overobtuse
Extremely foolish peak unwise
Full of stupid stupid lies

I've been the dogshit on your shoe
The freezing ocean drowning you
Flies invading every fruit
An abcess under every root

I've been an intercity train