Newcastle's obstacle is common now,
Nor slow, predictable or even fair.
I couldn't tell you if, why, when or where
And wouldn't want to even hint at how.
Occurence probability remains
Broadly the same, convenience withheld
Mostly by tidiness, the casual welds
Complexifying few obedient gains.
In hindsight everything is obvious.
Pretend pretence and overfocussed toys,
Confusion, staring, every gormless crush,
Pathetic waves of catchup with the boys.
At least it won't be headlining or viral,
Anonymously lost down in the noise.