Back-stabbing parasite; endlessly moany;
Pointless clutter; no-trick pony;
Passive-aggressive everything-hater;
Porn addict; longterm procrastinator;
Sweaty pedant; nobody's friend;
Unloveably nudging an untidy end;
Unreliable; unimpressive;
Unprovokedly obsessive;
Disappointing; underhand;
Irresponsible; rather bland;
Diseased; disgusting; dishonourable;
Ineffective; uncharitable;
Pathetic, high maintenance; negative; needy;
Snappy; sulky; socially greedy;
Ginger arsehole; staring fool;
Moronic slave to ridiculous rules;
Narcissist; feeble liar; weak-willed;
Drama queen; musical dunce; unskilled;
Manipulative but dripping with fail;
Superficially nice but easy to jail;
Jealous; mean; selfish; unwise;
Petty; whiny; baldy four-eyes;
Freaky; nerdy; greasy; geeky;
Poisonous; lazy; attention-seeky;
Physical wreck, mental self-abuser;
Secret gambler; obvious loser;
Careless; uncaring; charmless; bitter;
Shirker; lurker on facebook and twitter;
Passive-aggressive hypocrite;
Non-inhaling; lacking wit;
Millstone; sedentary arse;
Idiot-child in a genius class;
Retarded snowflake avoiding the front;
Schizoid fantasist; psycho; cunt.