It's difficult to drown in hotel showers:
You'll stand there, crouch, experiment for hours
To just get wrinkly, chloriney and sad.

Don't try to jump from hotel balconies:
There's absolutely no-one who'll be pleased
And paperwork will rubber-stamp you mad.

Forget about the railway, it's been done
A hundred thousand times by better men.
Particularly better by just one.

When everything is nothing, when you fall,
When there's no time or point to count to ten,
Waste it. Prove it. Make a random call.

If histry, honestly, can't make you laugh
It's really fucking easy with a toaster in the bath.